Tonight I had much to praise the Lord for as I sang these lyrics. But I was drawn back to Sunday, October 5, the first night Ryan and I attended church after learning that Samuel would be ours the day earlier.
One of the first songs we sang on October 5 was Everlasting God and tears poured from my eyes as I sang the lyrics. Ryan and I were praising God that after years of waiting on Him He had answered our prayers. We were so very thankful that we had chosen to wait on the Lord for our family.
Yet, our pain was still so raw that night. Not only was it the first night at church since we learned of Samuel, it was also the first night at church since we had lost our second baby.
September 11, 2008, was the day we discovered, for the second time in our marriage, a baby had died in my womb.
October 4, 2008, was the day we were introduced to our future son.
Just 24 days separated our heartache from our joy.
Just 24 days separated absolute devastation and unbelievable happiness.
Just 24 days separated grief, mourning, tears, questions, anger and doubt from our miracle.
So today I read these verses and I weep….
"Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13
Psalm 30:11-12 says: "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."
In my Bible study I learned a couple weeks ago that in the Old Testament sackcloths were worn in times of grief because they were itching and uncomfortable and a reminder to the one wearing them that they were in a time of mourning.
In just 24 days the Lord had removed my sackcloth and given me joy.
I love this quote by Beth Moore: "One way or another, God will perform His will. He may change the process or the person, but He will not change the plan."
Little did I know that God had a plan all along. A plan that He would not change despite our prayers and the prayers of many who love us. For THREE years God's divine plan was to turn my mourning into gladness. His unfathomable plan was to give me comfort and joy to replace my sorrow. His miraculous plan was to turn my wailing into dancing.
In just 24 days!I believe the Lord allowed us to conceive and miscarry again, so close to the arrival of Samuel, so the truth of Scripture would be evident in our lives. I believe we had to endure pain and sorrow so that Lord could replace it with joy.
For years I claimed and prayed Psalm 30:5, "Weeping may remain for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning."
Friends, our morning of rejoicing has come. And we cannot be silent.