So last night I was on my way home around 8 p.m. and Samuel started crying in the back seat. When this starts I try to get his nuk back in...sometimes that helps, sometimes not.
Sometimes he falls asleep and sometimes he just gets louder.
And more upset.
I try not to pull over unless the cries begin to become silent for a brief moment which means he is crying so hard that he is working his way into the next scream.
Last night the scream escalated so I got off 694 and pulled into a parking lot. I jumped in the back seat to see what the problem was.
I tried to calm him down but to no avail. So I made him a bottle and he ate a little and burped.
And then it hit me:
What am I doing?
I'm in the back of my car. In a parking lot. At 8:30 p.m. at night. Trying to soothe my crying baby boy.
Am I really here? In a parking lot, in the back seat of my car, with a BABY?
It's times like these that it hits me all over again...
How can I possibly have a baby? How can I be sitting in a parking lot trying to calm my screaming baby?
How did this happen?
Whose baby is this?
Am I dreaming?
Is it for real?
When will it end?
Since it takes most women nine months to prepare, I'm giving myself nine months to soak in the reality that Samuel is here. He is ours.
And most likely there will be a few more parking lot encounters in the weeks to come!