Friday, November 28, 2008

When does our story begin?

I was asked to share the story of Samuel next week at a mom's group at my church. I’ve pondered the year…the month…the season that our story begins.

Does our story begin with March 9, 2001 – our wedding day? When Ryan and I chose Ecclesiastes 3:11 as our wedding verse: He has made everything beautiful in its time. We chose that verse because from our first date – June 22, 1993 to our wedding day – was nearly an eight-year journey. We had a rough ride at times, but God took us apart so that we could find ourselves and Him, and then in His great wisdom and mercy, brought us back together.

Does our story begin with the fall of 2005 when we decided it was time to grow our family? Ten months later I had the great privilege of telling Ryan on June 4, 2006, that he would be a dad. Two weeks later on Father’s Day, we told both of our parents they would become grandparents for the first time. We all cried tears of joy. Then on July 10, 2006, I had the beginning signs of a miscarriage and our lives were changed forever. We never got to hold or meet our precious baby.

Does our story begin with July 2006 as we began a two-year season of waiting? We were tested and found to have ‘unexplained infertility.’ We chose not to pursue fertility treatment and instead waited on the Lord. What followed were months of difficult, impatient, confusing, misunderstood, and painful waiting.

Does our story begin with August 2008, when I discovered God had blessed us with a pregnancy for the second time? Tears of joy could not be contained. Praises could not be kept quiet. A 7-week ultrasound could not hide the precious beat of our baby’s heart. A 9-week ultrasound could not hide the heart-wrenching truth that once again, our baby had died.

Does our story begin with October 2008 when we got a call that a 19-year-old birth mom had just given birth to a baby boy and was looking for a family to adopt him? He was less than 24 hours old. Were we interested? Would she choose us? We knew very little about adoption. But we knew a God who was bigger than our heartache and better than our wildest dreams. From phone call to parenthood was less than five hours.

After wondering, questioning and pondering when our story begins, I realize this story really isn’t about me. Or Ryan. Or Samuel.

I am the storyteller, but this is a story about the Lord. And it’s a story of astonishing grace. Unending faithfulness. Incredible sovereignty. Unexpected blessings. An inconceivable plan. Perfect timing. And a magnificent miracle.

From everlasting to everlasting you are God. And our story will always begin and end with you.

8 comments:

Langford Family Blog said...

I love reading your posts. They are such a blessing to me! We miss you and are so thankful for all of you!

I'll be praying for your talk at church.

JL

Anonymous said...

Amen and Amen
Grandma and Grandpa May!

Adrienne said...

Hi, Stacy,

Your story is so beautiful! Thank you for commenting on my blog. It has been a very tough Thanksgiving for me, and knowing Christmas is around the corner and usually such a happy time for me, brings me to tears this year. We had prepared our hearts and home for a baby girl we named Lily, a baby girl we loved for four months while her mother carried her and for 3 very special days as we cared for her while her mother wasn't ready to meet her. It breaks my heart thinking about her and her life now (as her mother described it would be if she kept her).

Thank you for lifting us up in prayer. Loss after loss just hurts so much, and prayer is what is keeping me strong and hopeful. Thank you again so much for your message.


Give your sweet baby boy some extra love from me.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful story. Don't you love that unexplained fertility diagnosis? Been there! Your words continue to be hope for me as I so badly need hope that I will also be blessed.

Stacy said...

To anonymous: I would consider it a privilege to talk with you more about your wait and the emotions and difficulties involved with that. If you ever want to e-mail me please do so at stacy@stacyjmay.com. You are on my heart and in my prayers.
Stacy

The Oppold Family: said...

Stacy,
From someone who sat and listened to your share your journey today, you did an amazing job! The Lord spoke through you and Samuel today and will continue to do so I'm sure! Thanks for your openness and your obedience.
In Him,
Jami

Stacey said...

Stacy,

This is an absolutely wonderful post! I'm rejoicing with you and praising God for this wonderful gift. Thanks for visiting my blog today. I look forward to keeping up with you and sweet Samuel.

Tea said...

Beautiful.

I'm glad to know we are not the only ones who decided not to pursue fertility treatments. We really felt that was the right choice for us, but over the years I've never heard of anyone else doing that and at times it's made me feel foolish. (But ultimately I still feel like it was the right choice for us.) Thank you for telling your story.