Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Desperately seeking God's best

As a result of recent conversations with a few friends, I've realized God is still teaching me lessons from my years of waiting. Here is one of those lessons:

In life there are so many decisions that need to be made. When it comes to our families, it seems the decisions are endless.

One doesn't want to just make decisions quickly and without thought...but rather with wisdom, discernment, clarity and unity among the decision-makers.

During my journey through infertility and miscarriages Ryan and I needed to make a lot of decisions. Medical decisions, decisions about my health, decisions about what doctors to see and how often to see them, decisions about finances, decisions about medications and treatments.

Now that we have Samuel, we are finding ourselves in a place where we need to make decisions once again. Decisions about healthcare, decisions about pediatricians, decisions about schedules.

One day soon (too soon I am sure!) we will have to decide about disciplining and consequences and other things that won't be fun.

During my waiting years, I claimed these two verses when a decision needed to be made. In fact, just weeks before discovering I was preganant, I had journaled and prayed these verses endlessly:

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.

Isaiah 48:17
I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.

In August I prayed God would direct and guide our steps. I prayed for wisdom about continuing to wait, whether to pursue medical treatment or continue some of the natural treatment I was doing to make my body healthy or begin the adoption process.

When we discovered we were pregnant I assumed that was God's answer to my prayer. However, today I don't believe that was God's best for us. His best was a little miracle growing in another woman's womb.

Had we pursued medical treatment in 2006, chances are Ryan and I wouldn't have the amazing miracle in our arms that we hold today. Things could have been good, or even great, but it wouldn't have been God's best for our family.

When a friend asked us after we took Samuel home, when the decision was made about whether or not we wanted to adopt him, we responded that we didn't need to discuss whether or not we were interested in this baby boy....we just knew we were.

Looking back, I think the decision was made months prior as a result of us praying for wisdom and asking God to direct us and teach us what was best.

"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner." - Beth Moore

God's best...God's beauty...is worth waiting for.


kim said...

Beautifully written. It is easier sometimes to settle with good, when God is wanting us to experience grand!

Ryan's Mommy and Daddy said...

I know you don't know me. My name is Nichole. I live in OK. I googled my own little miracle's name...Ryan Samuel. I want you to know that you're story is amazing. I have a friend that went through the same thing you did. She and her husband adopted two precious babies. Eight months after they adopted their second God granted them with another miracle...a child born from her womb. When my husband and I were going through our journey of infertility I felt so alone. I wish I would have known that I didn't need to be. Praise God that you relied on His strength to cary you through. God Bless.