I would love to say that during our journey to parenthood Ryan and I spent considerable time together before the Lord petitioning Him for our future children. I wish I could say we fasted weekly or spent hours on our knees.
Yes we prayed. Sometimes we prayed a lot. But sometimes we didn't pray. Sometimes we just cried. Sometimes we didn't have words to pray. Sometimes we were mad or angry or didn't want to talk to God. Sometimes we were jealous and just wanted to yell at God.
And there were days I wasn't on my knees because I was flat on my face before God with a broken heart. There were days I couldn't stop the tears as I questioned God's plan, God's purpose, God's ways.
Other days I would put on some worship music and let the tears fall. Or turn my eyes heavenward and let the praises flow.
I know that God heard the prayers we did offer up. He heard the prayers of others for us. He acknowledged when others fasted on our behalf.
We weren't only praying for me to get pregnant. We were praying for a baby. We were praying for our future family. We were praying for God's will to be done. We were praying for God to be glorified. We were praying for wisdom for the journey we were on and for strength to continue to follow when it was hard.
And now that we are parents I wish I could say we spend hours on our knees asking God to help us be the best parents possible. I wish I could say we fast weekly for Samuel's future and his health.
Some days all I get out is a rushed prayer mumbled over his sweet bald head asking God to bless my little man.
We can always do better. We can always spend more time in prayer. More time petitioning the Lord.
But I think we only truly fail when we don't seek the Lord at all. When we face parenthood on our own. When we try to make decisions without the Lord's guidance. When we ask friends, read books, go online, talk to doctors....instead of talking to the Great Physician who can heal our bodies, our hearts and our babies in the blink of an eye.
As we wait for our season of parenthood to begin, we can wait on the Lord and petition Him for wisdom and guidance.
As we live out our roles of parenthood, we can seek the Lord for the energy, strength and attitudes needed to guide our little ones into adulthood and become followers of Jesus.
I love these two quotes that encourage my heart to pray....whatever the circumstance:
"Perhaps you will have to spend hours on your knees or upon your face before the throne. Never mind. Wait. God will do great things for you if you will wait for Him. Yield to Him. Cooperate with Him." - John Smith
"It is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright; nor is it enough to continue for a time to pray; but we must patiently, believingly, continue in prayer until we obtain an answer; and further we have not only to continue in prayer unto the end, but we have also to believe that God does hear us, and will answer our prayers. Most frequently we fail in not continuing in prayer until the blessing is obtained, and in not expecting the blessing." George Müller
Lord I petition you today for all those considering adoption. Guide them on this journey. Open doors of opportunity. Speak to their hearts. Provide the finances necessary. Show yourself to them. Keep both partners in unity. Direct their decisions. Give them peace about each step of their journey. Prepare them now for whatever you have in store for their future. And until you reveal what you have for them, may Your presence overwhelm them, your goodness fill them up and your faithfulness remind them they are not alone.