Sunday, January 18, 2009

Questioning God

After Samuel came into our lives, for awhile I thought I wouldn't ever question God again. I wouldn't question His ways, His timing, His plans. I wouldn't question suffering or grief or pain because I knew that ultimately, God was God and He was in charge of our lives.

I knew all those experiences are part of life and part of our journey. For me personally, those experiences were ultimately for my good. They refined me. And challenged me. And changed me. And I am so thankful for those hard experiences.

And when God dropped a miracle into our lives, I knew that His timing, His plans, His ways were perfect.

And though I didn't understand it all during my waiting season, the big picture was far greater and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

But here I am just a few short months later....

And I'm questioning God.

I'm wondering what He is up to.

I'm wondering about His ways, His timing, His plans.

I'm wondering why life doesn't make sense.

I'm wondering why life has to be so hard sometimes.

I'm wondering why things are confusing.

I'm wondering about God's plans and I am trying to understand why things happen the way they do.

I'm wondering about tears and laughter, smiles and heartache, happiness and pain, rejoicing and mourning and why they always seem to go hand in hand.

I'm wondering why God doesn't take us from this pain-filled world and bring us to eternity where praising His name will be our sole purpose.

And I keep wondering about this verse: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8

Tonight in church we sang the song Enough by Chris Tomlin... I recall praying this song during my season of waiting and truly wanting God to be more than enough for me. I wouldn't sing the lyrics unless I really meant them.

Tonight I went through a list of names in my head (many of you who read this blog) and prayed that God would be more than enough for each of you (and me) as we walk through this journey called life. I prayed not that we would just sing and claim that He is more than enough, but that He really would be and that our lives would reflect that belief.

Here are the lyrics:
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

1 comment:

Stacey said...

Stacy,
You write with such grace and wisdom, and you have a true gift for connecting with people and offering words of comfort. I'm thankful to have crossed paths with you! Reading your blog helps bring peace to my heart.