Recently I've been feeling guilty.
Guilty about being pregnant when I already have Samuel.
Guilty that I will have two miracles when I have dear friends who are longing for one.
I struggle with this guilt...not all the time, but enough that I'm aware of it. Enough that I wonder why God is blessing our family again.
When I was waiting for my miracle, it was so hard to hear about others who got pregnant and didn't want to be. Or hadn't really tried. Or it was a surprise. Or they had 1, then 2, then 3 kids. I just wanted one baby and I begged God for that blessing. I begged him to give me a baby instead of drug addicts, or negligent moms, or women that already had multiple children.
What I learned during my time of waiting (and what I am still learning today) is that God had - and has - a blessing in store for me that is independent of anyone else's blessing. Their blessing could never be mine. My blessing could never be theirs. I'm not taking away anyone else's blessing and they are not taking away mine.
I didn't have to wait nearly 3 1/2 years to conceive a healthy baby because other people were getting their miracle first. The timing of the baby in my womb was decided long before today (see this post in case you've forgotten my view on that).
I clung to this reminder during my days of waiting...and I still cling to it today: "God does not operate on a "First come, first served" basis and His plan for your family does not change because of what others receive. The blessings He grants someone else do not lessen what He has in store for you, just as the length of someone else's suffering does not take precedence over your prayers when he answers requests." - Moments for Couples
We are not competing for one another's blessings. God delivers each and every blessing...and he hands them out in His timing and according to His perfect plan.