Monday, June 29, 2009

Happy tears

This morning I contacted an infertility support group whom I get daily e-mail devotionals from to ask about their team of writers. I am so impressed by the quality of their devotionals and was curious about who writes them. I thanked them for their insight and wisdom and let them know that I am continually touched by their words even though I am no longer walking the road of infertility.

I signed my e-mail
"Mother of adopted son and baby girl on the way,"

And as soon as I typed the words, I burst into tears.

Literally, burst into a sobbing mess of tears.

Now I could attribute those tears to a number of things:
1. I'm sick with a cold (again!), therefore not feeling well and emotions are high
2. I'm pregnant so my hormones are crazy
3. I'm tired and when I'm tired I cry easily

But I don't attribute my tears to any of those three things. Because, to be honest, this happens frequently. When I write to someone explaining the story of Samuel or recall the moment Samantha told us we could adopt her son or when I think about my current state of parenthood (and our many blessings) it often leads me to tears.

It's like this big jumble of feelings well up and I can't help but cry. It always amazes me too. I'm eating my breakfast, writing an e-mail and the next things I know: can't swallow, big lump in throat, tears.

I wonder for how long this surprising burst of emotions will occur? I hope forever. I don't want this awe and amazement to ever end. Even if it makes me cry.

Posted by Stacy


Flakymn said...

I'm still amazed. Everyday. At your story and mine as your story really IS mine ...

Charnè said...

Can i ask what daily devotional you subscribe to? would love to find a good one

can you email me the details