I just had to do something I've never had to do before.
Not once in my life.
I had to call someone and tell them goodbye.
Like forever goodbye. Like you're-going-to-heaven-soon-and-I'll-never-talk-to-you-again goodbye.
My grandma is in hospice care and her body is rapidly shutting down. She's 87 years old. Has 13 children, 50 some grandchildren and plenty of great grandchildren.
I've been avoiding calling her all day because I didn't know what to say. What do you say in your last conversation with someone? How do you find the words? How do you hold it together and not turn into a bumbling mess of tears while you're on the phone?
But I knew I would regret it if I let this opportunity slide.
She's my last grandparent.
Through the tears there is joy because I know when she closes her eyes for the final time, she'll open them in a place that is beyond my comprehension.
I could not fathom the difficulty of the death of a loved one if I didn't think they were going to heaven.
Waiting for her with open arms will be her parents, her husband, her oldest child, and a number of siblings that have passed on before her. I know in heaven those people and relationships are different than they are here on earth....but I can't imagine the anticipation of getting to see those loved ones again.
I still don't have an answer to my question.
Even though I did it.
I made the call.
I talked to her, but I still don't know how to say goodbye.