One month from today is my due date. 9.7.09
This pregnancy has been interesting for me because in thinking about our baby girl's arrival, I realize that it's much like a wedding....and very much not like a wedding. You plan, prepare, buy stuff, talk with people, get advice, read books, etc, etc.
However, he/she doesn't come at a pre-determined time like a wedding ceremony. You can't plan out the agenda for the week prior to the big day. You can't tell people when to take off from work, whether it will be day or night, weekday or weekend. You don't have a minute by minute schedule of who will do what and where.
As much as I would like to drop off Samuel at Grandma and Grandpa's house after a full night of sleep, head to the hospital, have the baby by noon and then eat a delicious lunch and take a great afternoon nap, it doesn't work that way.
I wonder what day it will be? Will my water break? Will I have contractions for a week prior to her arrival? Will it be the middle of the night? Will they send me home from the hospital and tell me I'm not dilating? Will it be two weeks from now or 6 weeks from now?
When? How? What will it look like?
So many questions. So many unknowns. I am a planner and this part God does not allow us to plan. Heck, nothing about my journey to parenthood has gone "as planned" so I don't know why I think this would either :) God's plans have always been better than mine and yet....somehow I still think if I could plan it, that would bring me peace and comfort.
Oh God, only You know. You know the day our sweet baby will arrive. You know what she will look like, how big she will be, and what her entrance into this world will consist of. Before time began, You already knew. And yet, in my small, human mind, I desire to know. When will I learn that Your ways are not my ways and Your thoughts not my thoughts? Everything about our story and our journey has Your mark on it. This will too. I have no doubt the arrival of baby girl May will be marked by your goodness, faithfulness and will bring You more praise and glory. Give me peace about the day. Give me trust that you are in control. Give me faith that Your timing is always better than mine. Remind me Lord of all the ways in the past you have given me miracles....and let me not doubt that another miracle is on the way. I don't desire for this baby to come one day, one moment before Your pre-determined time. So Author and Creator of life, today I believe and claim the promise that You have made EVERYTHING beautiful in its time.