If time would so allow I would read every book out there on waiting. I have a number of books on my Amazon wish list on waiting and look forward to the day when I can read all of them.
From time to time I pick up my copy of Andrew Murray's Waiting On God, and try to digest a nugget of truth written in those pages. His words are so insightful, yet they require much thought and meditation to really understand.
As a follow-up to yesterday's post, today I read one of his chapters on waiting and, as usual, it gave me so much to consider.
What spoke to me more than anything else is that Murray says that waiting is not one among a number of Christian virtues, but waiting is a disposition that lies at the very root of the Christian life. The reason? Because waiting require absolute and complete dependence on the Lord.
Here's an excerpt from what I read today:
"At our first entrance into the school of waiting upon God, the heart is chiefly set upon the blessings which we wait for. God graciously uses our need and desire for help to educate us for something higher than we were thinking of. We were seeking gifts; He, the Giver, longs to give Himself and to satisfy the soul with His goodness. It is just for this reason that He often withholds the gifts, and that the time of waiting is made so long. He is all the time seeking to win the heart of His child for Himself."
Isn't it ultimately so good of God to withhold gifts from us so that we learn to seek Him rather than His gifts and blessings?
The gift and blessing I'm waiting for is the arrival of this baby girl. 38 weeks of waiting. The last few have been consumed by purchases, organizing, preparing, cleaning and finishing home projects.
I'm trying to 'keep myself busy' to pass the waiting.
But what if God chooses to withhold this gift, just for a bit, so that I will set aside my busyness and spend time with Him? In the weeks to come my time with the Lord will be very limited. And yet, somehow, I fill my hours with my to-do list rather than being still before my God.
So after all my years of waiting, and seeing my prayers answered, I still need to be reminded of the lessons of waiting: Ultimately I am not waiting for God's gifts or His blessings. I am waiting on God Himself - for my soul can only truly be satisfied by Him and Him alone.