Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Beauty from ashes

One year ago this week Ryan, my sister and I were in Hawaii. It was suppose to be the trip of a lifetime. And, really, in many ways it was: we watched sunsets, saw waterfalls, stayed in a magnificent hotel, attended my friend's wedding and soaked in the beauty of Hawaii.

It was perfect in a lot of ways.

Except one.

Just six days before we left I went to the hospital and had a D&C for my second miscarriage.

Rather than celebrating our growing family, I spent many moments in Hawaii grieving the loss of our baby.

After two years of trying since our first miscarriage, I could not comprehend how God had allowed us to miscarry again. I struggled with doubt, anger, and disbelief.

The night Ryan and I watched this sunset,

we sat on the beach listening to worship songs recorded by a friend of ours. The tears poured from my eyes as I listened to....from Everlasting to Everlasting, You alone are God.

I was consumed by my loss, deeply hurting and yet trying to cling to what I knew to be true about the Lord. His Goodness. His faithfulness. His promises.

This week I asked Ryan, "Can you believe one year ago this week we were in Hawaii with no kids? And now, here we are one year later, with two kids."

It is incomprehensible. It is mind boggling. One year ago this week NO kids. Today, TWO kids.

How does one go from no kids to two kids in LESS than 365 days?

Only by the hand of our great God.

I am in awe that He chose to give these two miracles to Ryan and I. And I couldn't be more grateful.

Here are a few pics of our time in Hawaii. They will always bring about mixed feelings for me: loss, grief and sadness along with beauty, joy, and sweet memories of time spent with my husband and sister.

And they will always be a reminder to me that He can truly make beauty from ashes.


~Sherry said...

God is SO great...if we had only known what his plans were only days after we got home. This has been an exciting year! Can't wait to see what else he has in store. Luv U!

Jennifer said...

this gives me so much hope! I sit at home childless and in despair, but I can only wonder at what God has in store for us. congratulations on your beautiful family!

Tea said...

God is amazing! It's wonderful to hear about the way he has blessed you. :)