Friday, October 30, 2009

Birth control

So today I went to the doctor for my follow-up appt. I really can't believe I am sharing this on the blog, but oh well. I've shared quite a bit already, haven't I?

The doctor was asking me various questions and wanted to know if I had thought about birth control.

Immediately I had a flashback: One year ago this month I sat in a room in the same clinic having a follow up appt after my D&C. We brought Samuel to that appt (should have seen the look on my doc's face when we told him that story!). He asked us if we wanted to discuss birth control since we now had an infant.

Well we didn't discuss it and three months later little Lauren was conceived.

I am sure discussing birth control is typical during these appts, but it caught me by surprise. Maybe because I don't think about birth control. For so many years, all I thought about was how to get pregnant not how to prevent pregnancy.

There is something inside me that has a really hard time thinking about birth control. Even that word bugs me - after all, the only One controlling birth is the creator of life....not me.

However, I do not want three children under three. Then I certainly would not have time to blog :) I will gladly accept whatever miracles the Lord brings to the May family, but for now I'd like to lather all my time, love and attention on my two little ones.

So clearly Ryan and I have a decision to make. If we take the route we took last fall (deciding not to decide) we could quite possibly have three under three. This is something I am going to need to pray about. I have worked so hard to get my body healthy to be able to conceive that I don't want to put anything into it that could lessen chances of a future pregnancy should we ever decide we want to go that route again.

On that note, I have told many people that adopting Samuel was much easier than 9 months of pregnancy followed by labor & delivery and weeks of recovery. But, of course, our adoption went very smooth.

I am so thankful that the Lord is the One who opens and closes my womb. Try as I might to get pregnant or avoid pregnancy, ultimately He is the giver and taker of life.

Wow. These are some jumbled thoughts today. But even after all this time it's hard to go from infertile to fertile...especially when that means I need to make decisions about birth control as my heart continues to ache for those of you who long for your own little miracle.


Sew said...

Oh no, please dont' do birth control. Oh my gosh this place is not long enough for me to explain all of the horrible things that happen while on that pill.....One main thing is that some don't stop you from ovulating, so you still conceive but early abort because the pill makes the uterus hostile.

I realize you don't want 3 under 3. But NFP is so reliable, especially charting Creighton. All you do is abstain during fertile times. It is so dead on there is no baby coming if you follow the fertile pattern God has designed for your body. It's all right there plain as day. :) He did not leave us to our own devices down here. He laid it out and there is such a beautiful pattern of fertility laid out before us, if we just take a look.

I would be so worried to take a chance taking that nasty pill. Not to mention all the side effects, have you heard about them on the commercials blasting all over the tv. You sure can't miss them. Strokes, blood clots, etc...

Here are a few links:

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

ITA with Sew. BCP not only played BIG part in my current problems with infertility, it literally could have killed me (since I recently discovered I have a few clotting factors that make me predisposed to clotting already). I could have ended up with a pulmonary embolism, a stroke, or died.

I know this is a real personal decision, but I do this for a living and would LOVE to give you an Intro for Creighton (free of charge) for you to learn a little more about it. It can all be done long-distance.

Most of my Creighton clients are using the syste to avoid, despite all that you may have seen on our blogs about many using it to achieve. (This is because of the NaPro side of it which addresses infertility and miscarriage.) But it is 99.5% effective in avoiding pregnancy, which is more than any form of contraception.
The best part is that it's natural, cooperative with your body and fertility system, and you can use it to achieve in the future again should you decide to (and not have to wait for your body to "recuperate" from the suppression from hormonal agents).

Please let me know if you'd like an Intro. It's really very easy to learn and becomes such a second-nature part of your routine. Can be used during breastfeeding, too, or any other reproductive category.

I think you have my email address(?) but in case you lost it, you can come let me know on my blog.

God bless!!

Breen said...

I totally agree to NOT take BCPs. I was on BCPs for about 2 years and they totally messed up my body. So I stopped taking them. Befor this Frozen Embryo Transfer they had me on BCPs to "regulate" my cycle and I was having dear aunt flo what seemed like every other week, not to mention the hot flashes, moodiness, headaches etc.

I don't know about the methods to prevent in previous comments because all I know is TTC.

Jeremiah 29:11 said...

Natural Family Planning is such a beautiful way to join with God in planning your family. I'm happy to share more about it if you're looking for more information. :)

Mrs. Mike said...

Another vote for Natural Family Planning! NFP is not the rhythm method and actually works *with* your body, rather than suppress what God created in His infinite wisdom.

I strongly recommend the Creighton Model of NFP, especially since you are post-partum.

Vent-ilation said...

I've checked out your blog a couple of times via other blogs... DH and I are in the EXACT same spot now with the question of birth control. Had my 6-week post-partum appointment a week ago and the doctor asked about birth control. I was like.. um... I didn't know what to say. So for now we're crossing our fingers and hoping we time things right. I'm desperately waiting for my period to come so I know where I am in my cycle. (Can't believe I'd ever say THAT!) I think we're going to try the NFP. I've been charting long enough TTC that I know my cycle pretty well.

Anonymous said...

What Sew said.

That thing is harmful in so many ways.

Louis and Amber Massett said...

I COMPLETELY agree with the aove coments advsing you not to take birth control ut rather just do NFP. Praying for you and your family.

Trusting in God,

Nicole said...

Stopping by from Sew's blog. NFP is the best! Plus is about the couple... not just the woman.

Check into Creighton. It can be used while BF, post birth, also while waiting for your cycles to return. I have taught it for three years with many post baby moms. I will use it myself too.

Here is some info on the pill and breast cancer.

Docs never tell us this kinda stuff.

Flakymn said...

JB and I had a similar decision to make since we had 2 kiddos under 9 months and 7 embryos waiting and then I will have to have c-sections. It was difficult to comprehend for us ... with you on that.

Flakymn said...

Sorry, I need to speak from the other side ... as someone who doesn't ovulate regularly at all (possibly 1-2 times a year), NFP was not an option for me. NFP is fantastic but there are other options as well, including BCP or other things.

Life In Mazes said...

I will be praying for you as you and your DH decide which path to take.

We also your Creighton. We are not in the situation you are in, but Creighton gave us freedom.

I understand my body in a whole new way. It was very easy to get started.

It seems like it always boils down to trust, doesn't it?

Life In Mazes said...

I meant we use Creighton.

The word verification is explot, makes me think "Expect lots of blessings" :)

Stacy said...

I just want to follow up to clarify that when I wrote about birth control I did not mean the pill. The nurse actually told me they don't recommend the pill for nursing mothers so that isn't even an option. NFP is one option along with a handful of others...thanks everyone for your input. I will check out the fertility care web site.

Whatever we choose, after having walked the road we did, it's not a decision that I take lightly.

Ann - Building a Nest said...

What a difficult place to be. I'd be terrified of 3 under 3, too. Best of luck to you. I know it won't be an easy decision.

Blessed said...

I am so thankful that the Lord is the One who opens and closes my womb. Try as I might to get pregnant or avoid pregnancy, ultimately He is the giver and taker of life.

Thank you for sharing those words

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I just wanted to reply again and let you know that YES, NFP can be used for irregular cycles, anovulation, and EVERY OTHER reproductive category from puberty through menopause. (Specifically, Creighton, which is what I teach.)

I currently have 2 clients who are anovulatory, and about 90% of my clients have what would be considered "irregular" cycles if they were not charting. They are still able to navigate times of potential fertility and either use those times for intercourse (to TTC) or avoid those times to avoid/space pregnancy.

I personally have only used the system to TTC. That's the beauty of Creighton, it can be used to achieve, avoid, or to monitor the woman's gynecologic health (I have several teenage clients who are not sexually active and don't want to be on the pill to regulate their cycles).

Stacy- I'm sorry I jumped the gun and assumed you were referring to bcps. I am glad you weren't (phew!)- but I am happy to hear you'll be looking into the website :)

PS, don't feel guilty about wanting to avoid pg right now. At some point, I'm sure we'll all be there! As much as I love kids, I don't know if I'd want to have my own show "18 and Counting." :P

Anonymous said...

Hi Stacy, I love your blog! I am also on the NFP bandwagon but just wanted to suggest another book that is easily accessible and might be interesting for you if you want to check it out: Taking Charge of Your Fertility. You might already have it from your ttc days. It is how I learned to chart ... first to avoid pregnancy (not that I needed it, as it turned out) and now to try to achieve. I am just learning Creighton now and it seems simpler and might be easier for irregular cycles and/or breastfeeding. There is also a chapter on breastfeeding in "Taking Charge..."
I know you will be serious and prayerful in your decision-making! You're great!