I'm definitely a saver. I'm a "what-if-I-need-this" kinda gal....so I hang onto papers and things and pile them around my home or shove them into drawers. I'm trying to get better, but it's a hard habit to break.
My saving habit includes voicemails. Recently my cell phone voicemail was full so I couldn't receive new messages. Today I went through them so I could delete a few in order to receive new messages.
However, I couldn't delete very many. I have been saving a number of them for a long time. Like, an entire year.
As I listened to my messages today, I heard my story through the voices of friends and family. Hopefully in the future we'll be able to create a link so you can listen to them yourself, but for now I'll try to describe what I heard:
I have 15 voicemails starting with September 11, 2008, and ending with September 13, 2009. The messages are from our siblings and a handful of dear friends.
The first couple messages are from the day we learned of our miscarriage on September 11.
The next few are from people who learned our news about "baby Samuel."
Then we have some messages after our first couple ultrasounds earlier this year when we saw a little baby who looked healthy and eventually heard a beautiful heart beat.
Then I have a recording of the heartbeat from one of our doctor's appts.
The last message is recorded on September 13 - the day Lauren was born.
I listened to message after message today trying to figure out which ones to delete.
But I couldn't delete them. Those messages are my story. They are my journey. They represent heartbreak, celebration, miracles, rejoicing. They are from our family and friends who have walked this road alongside us. There are messages filled with tears - tears when we lost our baby and tears when we were blessed with babies.
I cried as I listened to them and I smiled because I could hear the joy in the voices of my friends and family members.
"I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you."
"I just heard the news about baby Samuel."
"I am praying Samuel gets to stay with our family forever."
"We are so happy that you got good news at the doctor's today. We are rejoicing with you."
"Happy first Mother's Day."
"Congratulations on the birth of Lauren - we can't wait to meet her."
Yes maybe I save too many things. Maybe I keep stuff that should be tossed or given away. But these voicemails are priceless. I wouldn't trade them for the world. And I certainly wouldn't delete them.
So if you call me and it says my message box is full and you can't leave me a voicemail, just send me a text instead...and say a prayer praising God for this incredible journey He has blessed me with.