Thursday, October 15, 2009

Reflecting on what I am learning

So I may be slow or just down right stupid but as I was rocking my daughter back to sleep early this morning it occurred to me that I am dad to a baby girl. Holy crap! What do I know about raising a little girl?

Truthfully, I don't know the answer because I am not sure that I even know what I don't know yet. Sorry for my lack of clarity.

I guess I was just overcome by the responsibility of having two kids. Up to this point I have had very little interaction with Lauren, because I have been busy with my buddy Samuel. He requires some attention that Stacy isn't able to give him during the day, so when I come home I try and give him 100 percent of my night.

So here I am. Two kids 11-months apart. Wow! Right?

I remember last September yelling at God telling him that I deserve a child. Now, here I am with two and I feel totally inadequate and unworthy. I guess, maybe that is how I should feel. The truth is I am so happy with the gifts God has blessed me with that I am at a loss for how to handle it all.

In thinking about this I was reminded of the cartoon of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet talking about how they were going to live. Pooh said he was going to live until he was 100 years old. Piglet responds by saying, "I hope I live to be 100 years minus one, so that I never have to live a day without you. So sweet, simple and innocent. But true.

Moving forward, I hope God will continue to refine me, polish me and sharpen me. I want to be alert. I want to be on guard. And I want to love each and every blessing He sends my way everyday for the rest of my life.

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