For five days Samuel has been sick. We're getting to the end of it (I hope!) but its been rough - on all of us. In 14 months Samuel had never been this sick. And in 14 months I'm not sure parenting had ever been this difficult. It is so hard to see your little one sick and not be able to help. When the tears pour from their eyes because they feel so miserable, your heart just wants to break.
I couldn't help but take a few pictures of his sad little face when he was down and out...
As a result of Samuel's sickness (and having a newborn!), Ryan and I got little sleep multiple nights in a row. Sunday after getting home from church I laid down to take a nap and just flat out told the Lord, "I don't know if I can do this. In fact, I'm pretty sure I can't. I am so tired. My entire body aches. I just want to cry. I want to go to sleep for 12 hours. I don't want to cook or clean or care for anyone but me. Help me Lord because I'm not sure I'm strong enough for this."
You know what the Lord told me?
"You're not Stacy. You're not strong enough. But that's exactly how I want it to be. Because in your weakness, I am strong. In your weariness, I am your strength. You can't do it all by yourself and that's exactly how I designed it to be. Let me help you. Let me be your strength. Let me take care of you."
When you're the mom you can't just run and hide - no matter how much you want to. But as my good friend's mom always told her, "You know where to run Heidi. You know where to run." She was referring to Proverbs 18:10: The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous run to it and are safe.
How refreshing that in my weariness, the Lord is my strong tower. I can't run away and hide, but I can always run to Him.