I was up early this morning. Yep you guessed it, kids. Lauren needed some attention at 2:45 a.m. this morning and I am not sure I ever went back to sleep. Ordinarily I might find myself complaining, but then I remembered today is February 4.
What is February 4?
The expected birthday of our first child. That's right, February 4, 2007 was the expected birthday for our first pregnancy. Remembering back to that loss and the pain and agony we felt then, helped me rejoice in the privileged I have in waking up to take care of my daughter today.
While I am not sure I will ever stop grieving that loss, I am thankful for what it has taught me. It has taught me that the person I was back in 2007 was immature. I took for granted what the gift of life means. I am so happy that Stacy and I could struggle through this together. When I was weak (often) she was strong (often). Together our faith has grown.
I am so happy today that I am not in control. I am in tears thinking about the love I have for the gifts I have received in Samuel Lee and Lauren Ruby. What an awesome responsibility. But I still remember our loss and need to say Happy Birthday little one!