Friday, July 2, 2010

Making Plans

Since having delivered Lauren, I have talked with a number of friends about labor and delivery, doulas and birthing plans.

I have shared my own personal experience, things I learned from my research, and advice others have given me.

A friend recently gave birth to her second child - a beautiful baby boy. We talked a lot prior to her delivery about what her second birth experience might be like.

I prayed for that little boy to be strong and healthy and be placed on her chest immediately after birth. I prayed for a wonderful birthing experience for my friend and her husband. I prayed the baby would not be in distress and the labor would progress perfectly.

That. did. not. happen.

She contracted and went to the hospital. They measured her. She was a nine. Hooray!

But they couldn't see the head so they did an ultrasound.

The baby was not head first. Nor was it feet first. The baby was sideways.

Since she was already dilated to a nine, it seemed highly unlikely that the baby would turn on its own and they wouldn't risk waiting in case her water broke. So my friend was not given the opportunity to deliver her little boy as she had hoped, planned and prepared to do.

Praise the Lord for modern technology and for the knowledge of doctors and nurses. My friend was rushed into surgery to deliver her baby boy via c-section.

This was not how things were suppose to go. This is not what we talked about or what we had prayed for or what we had hoped.

But that's the thing - we plan and prepare and hope and read and talk to people. But we are not in control.

Whether we are talking birthing plans or any other plan in life. We are not in control.

But God is. And He knows the timing. He knows the method. He knows the way.

As one of my favorite quotes says:
One way or another God will perform His will.
He may change the PROCESS or the PERSON,
but He will not change the PLAN. - Beth Moore

While I think it is important to have a birthing plan (or a life plan, parenting plan, financial plan), it is just as important to be flexible and to understand that sometimes things are just out of our control.

And that in the end, a healthy mama and a healthy baby are all that really matter.


Little JoAnn said...

Beautiful reminder! Love Little JoAnn

Aaron and Angie said...

What a neat day for your post! Today is my daughters first birthday. My second daughter. Like you, we adopted our first child and then found out we were expecting. Our girls are 7 months apart. One year ago today, I spiked a fever and had to have an emergency c-section after FOUR days of pitocin/labor because my water had broken and then I never really started getting contractions. I had all the plans in the world to avoid a csxn. I wanted all those things that your friend did. I had a natural plan. I should have known through my infertility experience that it's not in my hands but somehow, I thought it was my body & maybe I'd have more control. Healthy mom & healthy baby was all my mom kept reminding me of (when I'd complain I couldn't hold my oldest after my csxn due to her being 20 lbs)!! How neat to be reminded of this one year later! Thanks!!

brianandmiranda said...

Oh this is so my post this week. Such a good reminder that HE is in control and that His plans are not always are plans but ultimately his picture is so much greater than ours and I'm thankful for that!

Stacey said...

I really appreciate this post, Stacy. While I agree that it's great to have a plan for such things, I too have learned that things don't always go as we hope or plan! Knowing in advance that I'll have to have a C-section to deliver my baby, sometimes it's hard for me to imagine what it might have been like to come up with the plan myself. But you're right, getting a healthy baby here is the goal and I'll do that whichever way that I can. Thanks for the encouragement!

Karissa Binder said...

Time tonight for myself, and I read this post. Friend, yet another piece of wisdom for me. Still trying to figure out what happened in that birthing experience, but certainly so much to be thankful for in how God took care of our family.