Friday, October 29, 2010

20

Last week Ryan had his 20th interview (including phone and in-person).

20.

20 times of mentally preparing.
20 times of discussing, answering questions, and trying to say the 'right' things.
20 times of hoping, praying and wanting this one to be THE one.

Ryan has a PR blog. In this post he writes about unemployment. Ryan is always very honest and authentic and I encouraged him to be transparent on his blog about the challenges of being unemployed.

Unemployment is as much a mental game as it is a job-finding game. Some days are tough - discouraging, depressing, and emotionally exhausting.

What is different about this type of waiting than when we were waiting for a baby? When we were trying to conceive it was MY body. My cycle. My ovulation. My health. While we both longed for a child, it was at the forefront of my mind all of the time. Every day I would take note of what my body was doing and where I was in my cycle, and if this month could possibly be the month we had waited so long for.

As Ryan searches for a job, WE wait together. But in reality, the brunt of the work is on his shoulders. He searches. He looks. He meets with people. He works on his resume. He makes new contacts. He interviews. He cannot forget that he doesn't have a job.

To be honest, sometimes I forget. As I'm cleaning, cooking, caring for my babies....I forget. I get caught up in the routine of being a mom and I don't think about Ryan being unemployed.

But Ryan does not forget. Because every day he gets up and doesn't go into an office to work. He doesn't have an office anymore. He has a card table set up in our bedroom. He doesn't have his own laptop, he is borrowing one from a friend. He doesn't have a work-paid Blackberry, he pays for it himself.

I am so proud of my husband. He does not lay in bed depressed and unwilling to face the day. He gets up and every single day works in some small (or big) way toward his next job. He has persevered. He has remained upbeat and positive.

20 people have chosen not to hire him. Yet he remains optimistic about person #21.

I love you sweetie and I admire your determination and positivity. I am proud to be your wife and even more proud of how you have handled the past 5 months. I'm right here by your side waiting for the next call that just might be the one.

4 comments:

JellyBelly said...

I am so sorry that this period of waiting is so hard. I can only imagine what you are going through!

I will keep your family in my prayers.

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

I have no idea why it's been so long since I visited your blog. And I am so sorry and upset that you husband is still looking for employment. God is ever faithful, though, and your own faith is deeply inspiring. I will keep you in my prayers during this terribly difficult time.

Abigail said...

What a beautiful, sensitive post. It's amazing how much a good marriage can shine through during in the hard parts of life. I'll be praying for interview #21.

Stacey said...

Continued prayers for Ryan and your family during this time of waiting! I cannot imagine the stress of this situation. How fortunate you both are to have each other in a loving, supportive marriage, and to have faith that God will provide. Praying that He will send something SOON.