Thursday, January 6, 2011

How's your marriage?

A couple weeks ago Ryan went out to lunch with B. He doesn’t see B very often, but he thoroughly enjoyed his lunch conversation with him.

Among the many topics discussed, unemployment was, of course, part of the conversation. When discussing Ryan’s job search, B asked Ryan, “How’s your marriage?”

How. Is. Your. Marriage.

Four simple words. Four simple, powerful words.

Do you know how few people have asked about our marriage during the last seven months? People ask how the job search is going or how Ryan is doing. People ask how I’m doing or if we’ve heard anything about the latest interview.

But asking about our marriage? That is so…personal.

But we need people to ask us the personal questions.

And others need you to ask them the personal questions.  Your neighbor. Your co-worker. Your friend. Your boss. Your sibling. Your relative.

How are you doing today?
How did that make you feel when that happened?
What has been the hardest part of what you’re going through?
What scares you the most about the future?
What is getting you through this difficult time?
How is your marriage?

Ask the hard questions. Ask the personal questions. What’s the worst that can happen? They cry. They don’t answer you. They say, “Buzz off and mind your own business.”

Even if they say, "Buzz off" I have no doubt that they will be grateful that someone cared enough to ask.  

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