Monday, February 14, 2011


Today is Valentine's Day...the chocolates, the roses, the jewelry.

I'm expecting all three when I get home from work today.


My friend commented about writing something inspirational for loving our spouses...that combined with an article I read last week has got me thinking.

While waiting for my dad at his doctor's appt on Wednesday I picked up a copy of some celebrity magazine. I only read these while sitting under the dryer at the salon or at doctor's appts when I don't have a book with me. I paged through and came across an article about a couple who is separating. I can't even tell you the name of the couple because I didn't recognize them...yeah, that's how much I follow celebrity gossip.

What struck me with such disbelief were the statements in the this particular article about how much the couple loved each other. They were quoted saying something along the lines of "We started this relationship loving one another and we end it loving one another."

They cited working too much and not seeing one another, along with growing apart, as reasons for the divorce. They had been married for two years. 


They still love each other.


At the two-year mark you've barely been married folks. You've only dipped your toe into the waters. You've only taken a tiny sip.

So here's what I've been pondering...marriage is about love. You gotta love the person you choose to marry. 

But more than love it's about commitment. Because it doesn't matter how much you love someone if you're not committed to them.

Come hell or high water.

Love or hate.

Mountain top moments and deep, dark valleys.

Winning the lottery or declaring bankruptcy.

Perfect health or a fatal diagnosis.

Or just year after year after year of living life as two sinful people trying to love Jesus. 

It's hard. Really hard. And that's why it's not about how you feel. It's not about your emotions. It's not about getting your needs met. It's about a commitment.

You made a commitment. You said I do, I will, I promise.

That means you change your career if you aren't seeing your spouse enough. You rearrange your life to make it work. You go see a therapist. You become authentic like you didn't know was possible. You ask someone to pray for you and your marriage. 

You do whatever. it. takes.

He doesn't love Jesus? So what. You love Jesus with all that you are, follow hard after Him and pray to God that your husband might be won over by the godly behavior of his wife.

When divorce is off the table...when it's not even an option - it will change things. Communication and openness will reach a deeper level.

Do you have a couple close, wise friends with whom you trust to talk about marriage? Friends that will encourage you, pray for you and speak truth into your life? Friends that will inspire you to pursue commitment at all costs? If not, find them. Seek them out. You need people to cheer you on in your marriage. It's not a race my friends. It's a marathon and it lasts until the moment Jesus calls one of you home.

In 10 years of marriage we've faced infertility head on. Now we're walking through the valley of unemployment. I have no idea what our future holds, but I know I've got the love of my life walking with me every single step of the way.

Two years? That's nothing. I'm sad for this celebrity couple because they barely experienced marriage. They opted out long before they experienced the sweetness of commitment. Maybe they think they made a mistake marrying that person? That doesn't matter. God could have turned their mistake into a marvelous love story if only they would have let Him.

So this Valentine's Day I challenge you to tell your spouse not only that you love him/her, but that you are committed to him/her no matter what life brings. Come hell and high water, highs and lows, health and sickness...I am committed to you.

We love because He first loved us. May you experience the wonderfully glorious love of Jesus this Valentine's Day.


Jennie said...


I just started reading your blog and just had to comment on this post.

I love what you have to say, love it. Thank you for writing this, today of all days. Love is not mushy, gushy, but real, earnest hard work. I think, oftentimes, people lose track of that.

Do you mind if I link to this post on my blog?

Thanks and God Bless,

sharon hultgren said...

Oh Stacy, you are so "right on"! This year Dale and I will be married 50 years, and we still "work" on our marriage. Love is hard work,it was for Jesus too.
John 3:16

Stacy said...

Feel free to link! Thanks so much!


Ann said...

I wish this message was preached more in our churches!

JellyBelly said...

I agree with you 100%! We've been married for 5 1/2 years and when I think back to our second year of marriage we were so young and naive!

It's so sad that some people think that marriage is disposable!

WoRds/WoNDer said...

Thank you for reminding us. It's so true. Marriage is such an amazing journey...

kim said...

Great! Great! Great! "when you take divorce off the table..." Excellent post!