Friday, May 6, 2011

Give yourself some grace on Mother's Day

I am not an overly emotional person, and yet at this very moment I am overwhelmed with love for those of you who I am writing to today. My heart is full and nearly bursting with tears. God has given me a deep love for you and these words are on my heart to write to you today. 

I'm writing to those of you who have asked me to pray for you, those of you who haven't asked, but would like prayer, those of you who are dreading this weekend, and to those of you who hurt so badly inside that the ache for a baby is among one of the worst feelings you have ever felt. I have been there and this is what I want to say to you:

Give yourself some grace this weekend.

Acknowledge what this weekend represents: the celebration of motherhood and that celebration is a painful one for you.

Allow yourself to skip church on Sunday and instead play some worship music at home and spend time meeting with the Lord one on one. Then go for a walk, go shopping, see a movie, get some ice cream, get a massage or read a book while taking a bubble bath....whatever would make your heart happy on this difficult day, just do it.

Don't force yourself to hang out with people or in places that will cause you more heartache on an already painful day. If your family won't understand, that ok. If you want to try and explain it to them, go ahead. If you don't, that's fine too. But allow yourself the room and time and space to do your own thing on mother's day.

Celebrate your mom if that's what you want to do. But if that celebration would involve 23 grandkids, 2 pregnant family members and lots of talk about things that you cannot participate in, then be honest with your mom and tell her you'd like to celebrate in a personal, private way another day. Or, visit her for an hour or two if your heart can take it, and then be on your need to spend 6 hours with family when you're trying to paste a smile on your face and keep from bursting into tears.

Sometimes the dread leading up to a day like this is worse than the actual day. So plan some fun things you can anticipate and get excited about. Talk to your hubby about how you're feeling so that the lines of communication are open. You need his support and his understanding and he needs you to be honest.

Give yourself some grace. God knows. He knows about your heartache, your longing, how it feels as though you get kicked in the gut every time someone else announces their pregnancy. He knows how your heart grieves for the little one you lost or grieves because you've never seen two pink lines or grieves because the birth mother changed her mind.

Some people might not agree with this post and that's ok. They don't need to. I am not writing to them. I'm writing to you. And you know who you are. While the world celebrates mother's on Sunday, God is celebrating you - a fearfully and wonderfully made creation.

I will pray that your day is filled with sweet moments of love and opportunities to see the blessings in your life. Most of all I will pray that the words of Zephaniah will bring you joy this weekend:

The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17 


JellyBelly said...

Bless your heart. Thank you so much for this post.

Anna C said...

I agree completely! I'm gonna post a link on FB, because I have so many friends on this journey.

tea said...

Thank you for this. ♥

Flakymn said...

Perfectly said. I can't agree more!

Suzanne said...

Thank you so very much for this post :)

Stacey said...

This post is... perfect. You have a gift for sharing what is in your heart. I always appreciate your wise and comforting words!

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I love you, dear friend (whom I've never met!)

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day, since you are a wonderful mother.