Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Was I in your tummy?

A conversation took place between Samuel and I yesterday that I hadn't anticipated happening for awhile. Years maybe. Certainly not at the age of 2 1/2. I worry from time to time about how Samuel will learn about his adoption and when he will start asking questions and what our conversations will look like.

There is no need to worry. The Lord is providing small, sweet opportunities to talk with Samuel.

Our recent conversation went something like this:

Samuel: "When I was one day old I was in the hospital." (No idea where this thought came from)
Mom: "Yes, you were in the hospital."
Samuel: "Lauren was in your tummy when she was a baby."
"Mom: "Yes, Lauren was in my tummy before she was born."
Samuel: "When I was one day old.....was I in your tummy?"

Heart. In. Throat.

Oh Lord please help me talk to my son about this the right way....

Mom: "No you weren't in my tummy Samuel. You were at the hospital. Daddy and I came to visit you at the hospital where we got to meet you for the very first time."
Samuel: "Why?" (this word is part of nearly every conversation Samuel has with anyone)
Mom: "Because God picked you out for us and chose you to be part of our family."
Samuel: "Yeah!!!!" (clapping and yelling loudly)

As I think about that conversation I wonder if I said the right thing. I wonder why Samuel is thinking about when he was a baby. I wonder if God gives him special insight or understanding to ask questions far beyond his years. I wonder if it will hurt him some day when he truly realizes that he wasn't in mommy's tummy like his sister.

I wasn't sure how to answer Samuel's questions or if I even should answer them. But this is how we roll. We are honest. We are transparent. We don't hide. We don't run from tough conversations.

Secrets are usually not good things. They are kept hidden, in the dark. Samuel's adoption is not a secret and we will not keep it hidden. We will not unveil Samuel's adoption to him one day when he is older. It is part of his life and part of his story. We will answer questions as they at a time.

We might have the right words, we might not. I will pray every day that God would give us the right words to tell Samuel the amazing, miraculous story of how he came to be part of our family.

No you didn't grow in my tummy Samuel. You grew in my heart and you have filled it to overflowing.


ryan said...

Beautifully written! You did a great job answering Samuel's question honestly and with LOTS of love. - jennifer

Lynn Schoolmeesters said...

You handled it perfectly. That's how we dealt with Amy's adoption, just as a normal part of conversation when she asked. Later on her brothers would tell her mommy and daddy chose her and they were stuck with us!Amazing how the Lord gives you the words at the time that you need them! Thanks for sharing!

Kim said...

Beautifully handled Stacey and I love his response to your answers, so genuine, that's all its truly about, that he was wanted and loved. God surely provided you with what you needed to get through that conversation.

Trina said...

You handled that exactly as you should have. Trust God to inspire Samuel to ask questions, and trust him to inspire the words you use in your answers.

You have two children who are equally special for exactly the reasons you say: One grew in your heart, the other in your tummy.

The Olsen Family said...

You brought tears to my eyes! This is beautiful! My brother and I were adopted and my Mom always read us a book about adoption. I grew up knowing, "Being adopted means you have two families that love you!" :)

Karissa Binder said...

How wonderfully sweet! He's going to have lots of people in his life telling him how special he was for your family. Samuel has an amazing story, and it's going to be so fun to tell him more and more about it as he grows. I love that boy!

Stacey said...

I think your words were perfect and I think you're an awesome mom. Samuel and Lauren are both growing up knowing full well how much they are loved!

Leslie Broussard said...

As a stepparent to a young child who doesn't remember a time when I wasn't in his life, I also had to answer some difficult questions while pregnant...

You did an awesome job, Stacy. A policy of transparency is the best we can offer our children.

Anonymous said...

When I started reading this, all I could think of was Samuel and Lauren both growing in your hearts and God's love. The thing any child needs most is love and you and Ryan go above and beyond to show hi,m that. Good job mama - truly inspiring! I pray that God helps by calming his heart and having that excitement grow of being chosen by God, and your family to be a May!