Thursday, August 4, 2011

Questions about infertility

A college student named Rebekah contacted me recently. She is a theology major at a small catholic college and is spending her summer doing two internships focused on infertility. Her long-term goal is to counsel couples going through pro-life fertility treatment. She desires to learn as much as possible and asked if I would be willing to answer her questions.

I told her that I would answer her questions and that I would also post the questions for all of you to consider answering as well. You can either respond to the questions in the comment section below, email your responses to me at or email me and ask for Rebekah's address if you want to send your responses directly to her. You can answer whichever questions you are comfortable with - Rebekah is appreciative and grateful for any insight you are willing to offer.

I will send my answers to Rebekah directly (for now) but I will plan to post my answers later this month. I don't want to impact the responses of anyone else by posting my thoughts today. I am hoping that at least 10 of you would be willing to share your experience with Rebekah!

And I want to say one more thing: I think intentionally pondering these questions is an absolutely necessary and therapeutic process for each one of us that is struggling or has struggled with infertility (which, to my knowledge, is defined as not being able to conceive after one year of trying). May I please suggest that you sit down with pen and paper or computer and keyboard and work through these questions. All at once, or one question at a doesn't really matter. It will be good for your heart, good for your marriage and good for your faith journey whatever that may be. Some of these questions will be hard to think about or process, but rather than stuffing the hurt of things people have said or your deep frustrations toward the Lord, put it on paper. I will be a powerful part of your healing -- I promise.

1. Did you share your infertility struggle with your family members? How did they react? What did they say?

2. How did it affect your family and friend relationships?

3. Did anyone ever tell you to "just relax and it will happen"?

4. Are there any specific reactions from others that have stuck in your mind? What was the best thing anyone every told you? What was the worst?

5. How did your infertility struggle affect your marriage relationship? How did it impact your sex life and intimacy with your husband?

6. In what ways has your faith been impacted?

7. How did you learn to discern the Lord's Will in the midst of everything?

8. What types of fertility treatment have you sought out? Were they of any help to you? Please elaborate.

9. What was the most frustrating part of your entire infertility struggle (aside from not achieving)?

10. And perhaps, if he wouldn't mind, does your husband have any advice or insight from the husband perspective? Is there anything that he would like other husbands to know about struggling with infertility?


Becky said...

Is she only interested in hearing from those of Catholic faith, or are other Christians welcome?

Stacy said...

I am not Catholic and Rebekah asked me so I believe she desires to hear from anyone experiencing infertility. Hugs to you Becky and little Joshua!

Rebekah Weber said...

All are welcome!! I am very grateful to anyone who is willing to be open and to take the time to share her insight :)