Thursday, September 8, 2011

What I Know

I have been a wife for 10 1/2 years, but for the past 15 months I have struggled to know how to support my husband during this season of unemployment. I often have no idea what to say to him that will be helpful. A couple weeks ago I tried to communicate what was on my heart and I sent the following to my hubby...

Here's what I don't know right now Ryan:
I don't know why someone who has great experience and great education doesn't have a job.
I don't know when you will find and secure that perfect position you are looking for.
I don't know how to help you deal with feelings of depression and discouragement.
I don't know how to help you be excited to be home with the kids for 15 months when you'd rather be working.
I don't know where we are on God's timeline.
I don't know why I'm so negative when what you need is a positive wife to encourage your heart.
I don't know what employers are looking for and why they aren't hiring you.
I don't know what it's like to feel rejection over and over and over again.

But here's what I do know:
I know you make me proud every day that you get out of bed and choose to face the day.
I know that depression and discouragement are big pieces of a spiritual battle that is taking place for your mind and heart every day.
I know that you have continued to give faithfully to God even when our income is less than we need to pay our bills.
I know that God has proven Himself faithful to us in miraculous ways before and we need to trust He is working out another miracle.
I know that you are tempted daily to give in to so many things the world has to offer you - things to distract you and give you momentary freedom from this hard road.
I know that you have not given into those temptations and that you are stronger than you are aware of.
I know that Jesus faced rejection. Time and time again.
I know that you have persevered for 15 months and I know you will continue to do so.
I know that you are loved. Not because of what you do. Not because of where you work. Not because of your strengths or education or experience or leadership abilities or character traits (certainly not because of those!). You are loved simply because you are my husband. You are Samuel and Lauren's dad. You are Dean and Barb's son. You are a friend to many.
I know that one day we will look back. And although we might not understand why, we will know God was with us through every step of this journey.
I know that I love you more today than I did 10 1/2 years ago and that I am committed to walking through this alongside you.


"His Perfect Timing" said...

What a beautiful post about your husband! He is very blessed to have you. I hope that God's timing helps him get a job soon. I can't imagine how hard its been for your family, but you both are certainly going to be blessed for your faithfulness to Him.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say how much your posts have encouraged me. Your honesty and reflection on your waiting period resonates in my heart. Although our waiting may look different the underlying desire/longing is very similar.

I wanted to share a couple of verses that have brought me comfort lately...
"For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help" (Psalm 22:24). It's a comfort to know that I can pour all my requests before Him and He will not despise my suffering. Also.... “Wheat is threshed and milled, but still not endlessly. The farmer knows how to treat each kind of grain” (Isaiah 28:28, The Message). This reminds me that this too shall pass.

Again, I just want to thank you for your words of encouragement. God Bless!
A Sister in Christ

Leslie Broussard said...

I'll always remember the story you told regarding the tape you waited all summer to listen to and then it was AC/DC...I know Ryan is hugely blessed to have you as a wife ;)

But seriously, I know the love you have for each other is real and deep and true and beautiful. And I am thankful to have witnessed it for a time.