Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The sweet dance of joy and sorrow

“Today I went to hallmark and found my trip to be very ironic. I found a small Willow Tree figurine for myself to remember our little one that we lost too soon (my due date would have been tomorrow). It’s a figurine holding a flower that is upside down. The card says, “Always, I will remember.” I also bought a card for Chilly and Tracy that says we will be praying for them about the loss of their newborn daughter. Then I bought a baby congrats card for Liz and Darin who found out they were expecting on New Year’s Day. Something for a miscarriage, something for the death of a baby, and something for a new pregnancy. Isn’t that the circle of life?” – Excerpt from my journal

Today my friend has a baby in the hospital who is working every day to grow stronger and healthier so he can go home. Today my friend has a baby in her womb who she will be meeting in about seven weeks. Today my friend has a baby in heaven that she lost to miscarriage recently and will never get to kiss or hold. Today my friend has a baby with a diagnosis that will change the future of her family forever.

This, my friends, is the circle of life. This is the sweet dance of joy and sorrow. This is how life teaches us to simultaneously mourn and rejoice, grieve and celebrate, love and let go. 

We cannot plan these things. We cannot prepare for them. This is how life happens.

Sometimes we live such sheltered, comfortable lives, that we know these things….but we don’t really get it. We still think we can schedule our days, plan our families, organize our lives, prepare for our future. We know that those things happen…but not to our family. We know about these things, but we haven’t personally experienced them. And when we do, it changes everything.

E v e r y t h in g.

Because then we begin to understand not just with our head, but with our heart. We are not just aware of loss and pain and grief and the possibility of. But these possibilities have become our reality and with every breath we take, we struggle to grasp what God is calling us to as we face our reality. And we realize that not for one moment are we called to lives of ease, comfort and security.

We are called to Him.

And He lovingly holds out his arms and invites us to dance in both the joy and the sorrow.

1 comment:

Joelle said...

And what an honor to go through all of this together. I feel the Lord upholds us often through the love of our friends. Mourning, adjusting expectations, rejoicing and praying with you Stacy (and all those you mentioned). I am blessed to be on this journey with each of you.