Tuesday, March 5, 2013

When the sirens come to your house

I sat in my robe holding my daughter at 5 a.m. on the first Saturday of the New Year. Just 60 minutes earlier I heard my 3-year-old  crying. I went to check on her and took her temperature. It read 101.5 so I gave her some meds, tucked her in and rubbing my tired eyes crawled back into bed about 4:20. 10 minutes later she cried again and Ryan went up to sing to her. He sat down next to her and asked her what song he should sing. She didn’t respond, and then he felt her legs shaking. He jumped up, turned on the light and saw she was having a seizure.

He called me upstairs, and by the time I got there she was done seizing but her eyes had rolled back into her head and she wasn’t able to gain control of her eyes or her mouth. I screamed at Ryan to call 911 and held Lauren. The tears poured from my eyes as I yelled in her face “Look at me Lauren” and there was no response. I panicked, of course. I sobbed and cried, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” I prayed and cried and the passing of time felt like eternity. “Jesus, Jesus, Oh Jesus.”

I believed like never before in the promise of Scripture that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

I picked up my baby girl whose mouth moved without making any noise and whose eyes still could not look at me, and carried her down the stairs.

“Jesus, Jesus, Oh Jesus.”

That’s when I heard it: the sirens. We often hear them at our house because we live on a parkway and it’s a common route for police, fire trucks and ambulances.

But this time the sirens were coming to my house.

“Jesus, Jesus, Oh Jesus.”

In came the firemen. Next came the EMTs. They couldn’t get my baby girl to look at them or follow their faces or voices. We wrapped her in her Dora blanket and an EMT carried her to the waiting ambulance.

“Jesus, Jesus, Oh Jesus.”

The doctors told us it was a febrile seizure. No long-term effects. Common when fever spikes in a small child. Not common in our world. 
Not at all.

“Jesus, Jesus, Oh Jesus.”

They sent us home a few hours later. We left the hospital just as the rising sun promised a new day.

“Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, Oh thank you Jesus.”

Those few hours before dawn on a Saturday morning in the New Year…they changed me. They changed me as a person. They changed me as a mom. When the sirens sound and they come to your house, it changes you. I’ve always prayed for ambulances and now I pray differently because I know what it’s like to ride inside one. The illusion of control we have as humans (and as parents)—it was squelched that morning. We have little control. Our lives, our every breathe, are in His hands.

We are given these children as a gift—
whether they are from our womb or from His hands, they are gifted to us just as every good and perfect gift is from above.


When the sirens come, may we all call on the One who gives us our very breathe: “Jesus, Jesus, Oh Jesus.”

4 comments:

The Mac's House said...

This is the road we've been traveling now for the past 2 years. Wow 2 years, that seems like such a short period of time but it has been an eternity to find out what is going on with our sweet little one. She was 2.5 when the first seizure struck her (us). It was another 18 months before the 2nd and then again another 2 months before the 3rd one. Oh I dislike no actually can't stand to hear the word seizure any more, it makes me sick in the pit of my stomach. I've researched like crazy, one test after another and finally might actually have a diagnosis. Epileptic seizure variety with a big long name attached to it. Ugh!

You are right, the sound of that siren, the motions that you go thru giving information at the hospital, signing your name on forms, loading that little one up to be transferred to a children's hospital and going thru the same process all over again, each time it rips a little piece of my heart out. I struggle for her, not for me but for her.

I am her Grandmother her NANA! She lives with me, her and her mother both do. I can't imagine not being there for her ever.

Recently her mother was dying my hair, yeah she's given me more gray hairs than I tend to want to discuss thru this whole process, when she came over to me sat by my side and as only a sweet 4.5 year old could do held my hand and said "I'll hold your hand and be with you just like you are with me every time I'm in the hospital telling me that I'm going to be ok!" WOAH that knocked the wind right out of me. Before that moment, before her acknowledgment of it all she never once talked about her time in the hospital or even want to begin to say anything about it. But she is right, I am there, every minute, stroking her hair, telling her she's going to be fine, loving her like there is no tomorrow.

I'm so glad that your little one is ok and doing well.

Big hugs from me to you as I know too well how those feelings are.

God Bless and Take Care.

Chrissie said...

Oh I am so sorry! I can't imagine how scared you must have been. So glad that she is ok.

Lisa Elliott said...

Wow Just Wow tears filled my eyes as I read this so sorry but glad she is OK God heard your prayers you all must have been so scared when you pray to God he answers when you cry out to God he is there praying is hard for me at times not knowing if God is going to here me cry out to Him. I am praying for your family.As you prayed for me all this time for my health being sick.I am healed in the name of Jesus.

cybil said...

I'm so glad all well went well. I#m sure this was very scary! Praise the Lord for his help!!!
Greetings from Germany,
sibylle